My Second List of the Ten Worst Films

After I finished my list of ten worst (major release) films, I've had others, equally bad which certainly deserve to be on that list. So, I've created "My Second List of the Ten Worst Films."

*Battlefield Earth: This stinker was the first film (I believe) to sweep the Razzies. It almost single-handedly destroyed the careers of Forrest Whittaker and Barry Pepper. There is literally nothing redeemable about this horrid attempt at filmmaking. Every copy in existence should be destroyed...immediately....I'm serious!

*The Adventures of Pluto Nash: I got to see this for free--and I still walked out after just ten minutes! I couldn't take it anymore! IQ-wise, I think this film equaled a rock...and a dumb one at that! As much as I hate to say it, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was Oscar worthy compared to Eddie Murphy's train wreck of a film. Don't believe me? Go rent it. You'll be demanding your money back before the popcorn is done in the microwave.

*Conan the Destroyer: The original Conan was awesome! The follow-up was terrible! The writing was ridiculously bad, and having Wilt Chamberlin and Grace Jones in the cast was a monumentally unforgivable mistake! Arnold and Olivia D'Abo were good, but everything else was a travesty.

*Red Sonja: This supposed addition to the Conan franchise was so awful that even an appearance by Arnold couldn't hope to legitimize this waste of perfectly good film stock. Brigitte Neilson was just plan terrible in the title role, and the film was merely a reason to show her in as little clothing as possible, while supposedly wrapping a storyline in there...somewhere.

*Fluke: What's wrong with the following premise: A man dies tragically in a car accident. He awakens in the body of a dog, and goes about finding his (now) former wife so he can watch over his family. Need I say more? (I actually fell asleep in this dog (pun completely intended!) of a movie.)

*James and the Giant Peach: I realize this movie was made from a kids book, and was targeted for kids, too; but this film was T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E! The stop-motion animation was anything but pleasing to the eye; the script was beyond even kid audience preposterous, and the film was so boring I fell asleep for about half of it. At least I got a good nap for my cost of admission!

*Dudley Do-Right: I will very rarely diss on anything Brendan Fraser acts in. His skills in front of the camera are generally exceptional. However, Dudley Do-Right, one of those films Fraser picks for reasons only he can explain, is a stinker from the opening credits to the closing credits. Between Fraser and Alfred Molina, you'd think this film had some value. Alas, the script was vomitous, to put it nicely; and so was the film!

*Traffic: I don't care what kinds of awards this film took in--It was a convoluted, tedious, confusing and all together ridiculous film. I never saw this in the theater (Thank Goodness!); but on DVD instead. After about thirty tiring minutes, I'd had enough. The movie was turned off, and I refused to watch any more. The acting was terrible by just about everyone--especially Benicio Del Toro (and he won an Oscar for that role...What a waste of a perfectly good award!), the directing seemed lost, and the whole storyline was far too ludicrous to be even remotely viable. I HATED this utterly AWFUL film!

*Talladega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby: I still cannot comprehend why audiences flocked en masse to this Will Ferrell offering. I usually like his material, so I was looking forward to seeing this movie. The film however, was so gut-wrenchingly bad that I don't remember laughing even once. It was like a nightmarishly long skit from SNL that gets placed at the end of the show because all of the funny stuff was on earlier in the broadcast. Because of this film, I have not seen another Will Farrell movie in the years since.

*Rocky Horror Picture Show: I know I'm treading on hallowed ground for a number of people; but this film is so insanely stupid that I can't even fathom the reasons for its cult status. I saw this in its 1970's heyday at the Guild 45th in Seattle at a typical midnight showing. All the usual costumes, antics and sing alongs were in full swing. However, in spite of literally everyone around me dancing, singing, mimicking lines, etc, I waited for it to get as good as everyone had excitedly told me it was. Unfortunately, the film ended before that could happen...or, maybe the theater lights coming on was the good part.

Review: Toy Story 3

I'd been hearing that Pixar Animation Studios' latest effort, Toy Story 3 was fresh and funny--much like the original. To tell you the truth though, I haven't laughed that much in a long time!

True to all the hype, Toy Story 3 is as fun (and funny!) as the original Toy Story. The opening sequence is waaay over-the-top fun, and the movie then settles in to the series ending storyline that will leave kids (and most adults, too!) with a wonderfully fun, satisfyingly appropriate end to the Toy Story franchise.

As usual, the entire cast was perfect in the delivery of their lines, and the introduction of new characters provided new laughs, new enemies, and a refreshing introduction to the eventual ending.

This is a wonderful movie, folks! Both kids and adults will laugh nearly all of the way through this flick!

Take the family and get ready to laugh!

I will see this again; And, I'll definitely buy this on DVD!

Review: The 'A' Team

Like the movie itself, I'm going to keep this review very simple.

This movie is nothing but unbelievable, over-the-top, and completely outrageous FUN!

There is absolutely nothing in this movie that is to be taken seriously. From top to bottom, beginning to end, the film's premise and subsequent action sequences are there simply to entertain. Beyond those things, there really isn't much to say about The 'A' Team. It provided exactly the schlock that the original was so adept at.

The best of the cast were Liam Neeson (always exceptional!), Bradley Cooper (who was obviously enjoying his role as Face Man), and the always lovely Jessica Biel (whom I am a big fan of). The rest of the cast was only so-so; but you could tell that even the making of The 'A' Team was one long fun time by everyone.

That's it, that's my whole review.

Was it worth the price of admission? I don't know. It probably shouldn't be; but there was something about it that was so ridiculous that I was just glued to my seat.

I would NEVER buy this movie, or even see it again. But a one-time screening was definitely worth it.

Review: Prince of Persia (The Sands of Time)

Based on the previews, The Prince of Persia looked like a fun movie, and it certainly lived up to my expectations!

It is a fun, rousing, and completely unbelievable adventure that will satisfy just about every popcorn movie cinephile out there. The action sequences are well done, the CGI is top notch, and the storyline (not overly complex by any stretch) is easy to follow.

For the most part, Jake Gyllenhaal has tackled a character unlike any role he has yet done. He comes across very believably as the hero Dastan. Gyllenhaal pulls off the vocal aspect of this part quite convincingly. Physically, he looked as if he had been doing action movies over the entire breadth of his career. The only time Gyllenhaal looked like the goofy-faced kid from October Sky or Bubble Boy, was right at the end of the film. Otherwise, you know it's Jake Gyllenhaal as you watch the film, but he is not the same actor you are used to seeing.

The other star of this film, Gemma Arterton, is not only beautiful, but she also appears extremely comfortable. Arterton has a natural, relaxed screen presence that just comes across as genuine. This is her second sword and sandal project of the Spring. In April we saw Arterton play the role of Io in Clash of the Titans. Here in Prince of Persia, she plays Tamina, the entrusted keeper of the Sands of Time. I thought her acting was great, and her onscreen chemistry with Gyllenhaal was done with ease and grace.

The supporting cast is composed of mostly unknown (to American audiences, at least) British actors. Aside from Sir Ben Kingsley and Alfred Molina, I was unfamiliar with the supporting cast; though they all did a wonderful job.

Directed by Mike Newell (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Mona Lisa Smile, Donnie Brasco, Four Weddings and a Funeral), Prince of Persia flows easily and logically throughout. Newell is obviously adept at directing this type of movie, and his experience really shows.

The Costuming, Set Design and Construction, Cinematography, and music were all superbly carried out. The crew hired for this movie was great from top to bottom.

Prince of Persia isn't a great movie by any standard, but it IS fun! You don't take it seriously because you aren't meant to! Go see this movie with the idea that it is just a fun, entertaining film, and you will walk away having had an enjoyable time at the movies. I will probably go see this at least one more time, then buy it when it is released on DVD/Blue ray.

Things in Films that Drive Me Crazy

I think we all have things in films that drive us nuts. Whether it is a pet peeve that annoys us, or blatant product inclusion, at one time or another, we come across content that just isn't necessary!

Of course, I have my own list of these pet peeves--call them 'Things I wish weren't in a film.' Here's my list:

1) Excessive Swearing. I'm certainly no prude; but doesn't the swearing in films just get tiring? I can understand having a little bit--but when a film has seemingly non-stop vulgar language, I'd rather not be watching the film at all. Personally, I think it is just laziness on the part of the screen writer to include a never-ending stream of crass, vulgar, offensive dialogue.

2) Unnecessary Nudity. I'm not talking the occasional artistic inclusion, such as in Titanic. I'm talking, showing boobs and butts simply for the sake of showing them. Whether to titillate teenage boys, to just be vulgar, or for pure shock value, showing nudity for non-artistic reasoning is pushing things too far. For example, when The Watchmen came out in the Spring of 09 I was excited to see it. However, the only lasting image from that movie was the good Doctor's gigantic blue penis that was onscreen way, way, way too much. We got the image the first and only time it should have been seen.

3) Love Scenes. Again, I'm no prude--but it seems like filmmakers are pushing this envelope further and further each year. Personally, I don't think 13 year-olds should not be seeing the graphic displays so prevalent these days in the so-called "safe rating." What we are seeing today as PG-13 sex scenes were an R rating just ten years ago. Does a graphic sex scene further the storyline? Or is it there simply to show sex? Personally I really enjoy when a film actually fades to black, time passes, and the encounter is insinuated--not, "In your face."

4) Product Placement. I realize that product placement is a necessary evil in the TV and film industry. Placements help pay for a film. Corporations want some return in exchange for [basically] advertising space, however brief. Product placements are literally everywhere in a film. They range from cars to candy bars, from books to beer. You can always tell what car company is a major cash partner. Their cars are all over the place throughout a film. My gripe here is that sometimes, too much blatant product placement occurs and you feel like you're watching a long series of commercials between which is the actual movie.

5) The Audience Are Idiots. (I'll only touch on this briefly because I'll do a blog later on screenplays.)
Are you an idiot? So stupid that you have to be spoon-fed all the relevant story lines and information? This is called "Exposition," and it drives me crazy. There are filmmakers (directors, screen writers, etc) who feel that no one in the movie-going audience has any intelligence. So, they 'exposit' the information via tiring, obvious dialogue. (Think, Wing Commander, or tv's CSI New York as wonderful examples). It is incredibly refreshing when a movie has almost zero exposition. The Book of Eli is a fantastic example of this. Barely any foreshadowing, and very little exposition. By the time the end was viewed, the twist suddenly hits you and everything you may have not understood, suddenly makes all the sense in the world.

These are my main gripes regarding unnecessary things included in film making. I think these are all quite unnecessary in a film. Do you have anything to add? I've love to hear your feedback! If I get enough comments I'll include them in a follow-up blog.