Movies I Deplore

Everybody has a "favorites" movie list.

We all sit around at one time or another and discuss (or argue...at times) what we think are the best movies ever made. We quickly note our lists, then have the perfect justifications as to why we feel the way we do about each film. It's a fun bit of one-upmanship.

How many of the same people arguing "favorites" lists could actually name the ones they hate the most? I'm talking stinkers, on every level; so bad that you walk out of the theater. Yeah...the films you wish could be unmade so their legacy will have never been.

My list is full of these clunkers. Let's see if you agree with any of my selections:

(These are in no order...not that I need to classify any of these above the others!)

*Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I saw this piece of flotsam for free; but I have to wonder if I can get those lost 100 minutes (or so) of my life back. I think I actually felt brain cells being sucked right out of my head!

*The Third Man. This snooze-fest of a cloak and dagger attempt was so lousy that Orson Welles' 10 screen minutes are more memorable than the rest of this flick. Even Welles' best effort couldn't take the pain away of watching this...thing.

*Cape Fear. (The Scorsese remake) Before I saw this movie, I kept reading what an great movie this was. I was told I'd love it. Well, the whole time I was viewing it, I remember asking myself repeatedly, "When is this going to get good?" Unfortunately, it never did. (I have since learned that all Scorsese flicks evoke the same sort of response from me. But I still see them, ever hoping that one of these days, I'll see one that doesn't stink.)

*Gone With The Wind. I can hear a few gasps already! This movie may be a beloved work, but I was utterly, thoroughly, and unequivocally bored and stupefied with this so-called "classic." Awful, awful, awful!!! The Carol Burnett parody was FAR more entertaining that this film.

*10. This supposed romantic comedy was anything but... It was neither romantic, nor was it comedic in any way. The hype for this flick was literally based on Bo Derek's slo-mo run down the beach; a scene that lasted all of about 30 seconds. Whoopeee.......zzzzzz.

*Americas' Sweethearts. Another so called Romantic Comedy, this movie was actually nothing more than a verbal raunch-fest that was in no way funny--just tiring. I walked out of this dog and got my money back.

*Elizabethtown. A critical "winner," this plodding, over-wrought film did nothing but leave me wondering if I was seeing the same film that the critics were praising. Everything about this screen 'gem' screamed in agony. I walked out of this pile of wasted celluloid after just 20 minutes.

*Sin City. Carla Guigino, at her smokey, sultry best, couldn't hope to save this load of poo called a film. What critics praised, I found to be obscure, redundant and just over-indulgent. As with Cape Fear I kept waiting for this dog and pony show to get good. My hopes were wasted as my senses were dulled to mush by the time it ended.

*The Deep. This underwater cloak and dagger story was as riveting and intense as a curling match. There were exactly two good things about this ponderous flick--1) a 30-something Jacqueline Bissett in a wet-suit; 2) the End credits. That's it. No kidding.

*Memoirs of a Geisha. I'll be the first to admit that this Oscar nominated film is beautifully photographed. The images are sumptuous, dazzling and rich. However, the story arc, the characters and directing were all deplorable--to put it nicely. I had high expectations going into this one, but left devastatingly disappointed by the reality the film presented.

There are many more on my "Worst" film list; but these ten really stand out head and shoulders above the rest.
So what are your most hated films? I'd love to hear your thoughts.